Mansi Poddar- Trauma Informed Psychotherapist Working Globally

psychotherapist in India by Mansi Poddar

In many cultures-including Indian society-relationships are often built on unspoken expectations of sacrifice, loyalty, and emotional merging. While closeness and caregiving are celebrated, they can sometimes blur into codependency, a relational pattern where one person's identity, worth, and well-being are tied to meeting the needs of others-often at the expense of their own. It's time to shift that narrative. It's time to redefine relationships from codependency to connection-rooted in authenticity, boundaries, and mutual respect.

What Is Codependency?

Codependency is when you: - Feel responsible for other people's emotions or outcomes
- Struggle to say "no" or feel guilt for asserting needs
- Derive your worth from being needed or helpful
- Avoid conflict to "keep the peace"
- Lose touch with your own desires, goals, or identity
These behaviors often stem from childhood experiences of emotional parentification, neglect, or conditional love-where love was earned through performance, not presence

Why Codependency Feels Familiar (But Draining)

In collectivist cultures, self-sacrifice is often misinterpreted as love. Many of us were praised for being "selfless" while learning to suppress our own needs. As adults, we may over-function in relationships, believe our role is to fix or rescue others, or fear that setting a boundary will result in abandonment.
But over time, this leads to resentment, burnout, emotional depletion-and a disconnection from our authentic selves

What Does Healthy Connection Look Like?

True connection is not about losing yourself in someone else. It's about showing up as your whole self and allowing others to do the same.
In healthy relationships:
- You feel safe to express needs, desires, and limits
- Boundaries are honored, not punished
- Your worth isn't tied to usefulness or emotional labor
- There is mutual support-not one-sided giving- Love is chosen, not earne
This shift from codependency to connection requires self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the courage to unlearn patterns that once kept you safe.

How to Begin the Shift

1. Pause Before Pleasing: Ask yourself, "Am I doing this out of love or fear?"
2. Reconnect With Your Needs: What do you want, feel, and need-outside of others' expectations?
3. Set Micro-Boundaries: Start small. Practice saying "no" to things that drain you.
4. Choose Relationships That Uplift: Seek people who honor your growth, not just your giving.
5. Work With a Therapist: Healing codependency often involves inner child work, boundary repair, and nervous system healing

Final Thought

You can love others deeply without losing yourself. You can be generous without self-abandonment. Redefining relationships is not selfish-it's sacred. When you choose connection over codependency, you invite relationships that are mutual, healing, and whole.
Your needs matter. Your boundaries are wise.
And your relationships should nourish-not erase-you
Disclaimer- the narrations are not based on a particular persons life. They are the descriptions of how trauma and healing manifest in first person voice.

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